SHE SHALL BE CALLED WOMAN; My Story by Ada Adoyo
The roles and definitions of what makes a woman can feel confusing in contemporary society. Mrs. Adah Adoyo shares her story on how she has managed to be a wife, mother and career woman candidly in her book She Shall Be Called Woman. A renowned radio personality, mother, teacher and speaker, Adah Adoyo, in her book, sets out on a journey to share her life from a young woman to a young wife, mother, career woman, bishop’s wife and now middle-aged woman to help women redefine and understand their roles and take their rightful place in family and society at large. Mrs. Adoyo shares her struggles, fears, heartaches and shortcomings boldly and true to the word, there are many vital lessons to learn and connect with for women across Africa. From parenting, to being a woman of excellence in relationships, avoiding being a liability to one’s children, reconciling urban with rural life, making ends meet with the family budget and aging gracefully, Adoyo tackles many issues in the book, which if I may say, are every woman’s struggles.How do you deal with the loss of your first child due to a miscarriage? What happens when the same happens in your second pregnancy? Mrs. Adoyo shares the heart breaking period she went through after losing two of her unborn children and how she dealt with feelings of bitterness, shame and failure as a born again woman. She encourages women to embrace all the support that comes their way, to seek out their husbands during such traumatic periods and use the experience to draw closer to them. She also explains that during such time men too needed comfort because they too are affected by the loss of the child.
Like many other women, Adoyo too struggled with the self-defeating fear of comparing herself to others and as always she came up short. “I have since learnt that wealth or the lack of it is all in the mind, if you think less of yourself, you will always have less than you deserve,” she writes. While acknowledging the dynamics of the changing way of life in modern times, Adoyo encourages women to embrace their role in the home, to gladly serve and take orders instead.
On parenting, Adoyo is resolute that women can give the first five years to their children and still pick up their career. She finds it heartbreaking that many parents are leaving the responsibility of raising their children to house-helps. Parenting isn’t always easy and Adoyo encourages parents to avoid sheltering their children, but instead expose them to what lies beyond the protective, often deceptive walls of their home. She, however, warns against the feeling of independence, of thinking that one can run the family alone. In all these things, Adoyo emphasizes the need for submission and respect to one’s husband.
The 100 pages book was written in 2009 and published in the same year by Arba Publication.
REVIEWER.. EVA GITAU
March 30, 2018
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