When everything doesn’t work out.
At times, the worst solution comes in handy as the best solution.
When all that people can see are the roses above, not the painful pricks of the thorns that you been holding.
When you are about to let go, hanging on the loose frail hope which you can no longer hold on to, cause fatigue won’t let you, neither will the rope.
Before it snaps, allow me to shout out this, “Were the worst in holding on to each other”. The purported friends never check on you and when you reach out, some never have time to listen others quick to tell you, ‘vumilia, mwanauname ni kujikaza, we hata hujapitia…’
Not knowing some are slowly sliding to depression. Their vision blinded, their promises and the destiny no longer worth fighting for. The brighter future no longer counting cause it’s no longer worth it. Options narrowed down: you give in to the inevitable too soon.
The ever busy friends now have time to mourn you. Not anymore swamped, cause they’re busy taking offs’ to prepare your funeral; to give you a dignified send-off, you know!
Guilt eating them up, cause, it’s too late to rewind the moment and offer the once needed support. Too late to reconsider their decisions, just to be there for you. You’re gone, gone forever. Trails of the bad and good flashing through their memories. Helpless, just watching the unfulfilled life vanish. Purpose buried.
Its possible to fall back no matter the propulsion and efforts employed. Give the best, and the unexpected formulates. Not because you didnt do your homework, neither did you aim on the wrong target, but because you can only control the internal and the external forces can only be predicted.
Going through stress, depression, suicidal thoughts? Pause. Zoom out and draw back! Take a break. Maybe it can always wait. Better still, maybe it was never meant to be. Your life matters, and if not to anyone, to the maker Himself! He positioned you among the billions because you only are the carrier of a purpose that can only be fulfilled by you.
May 13, 2018
February 15, 2018
July 18, 2017